#I'm sorry it's a struggle for me to talk a lot
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Hi! If you're open to requests, what would you think the lads men (or just one guy of your choice!!) would do in the following scenario?
They are out with mc when they run into mc's ex, and mc's ex says, "Damn, your taste in men changed a lot" in like a condescending manner. (Or something along those lines)
I hope you have a great time!! I love reading your stories!!
[ Thank you for the request! <3 I did a little of everyone so enjoy! ]
Sylus
"Your tastes sure have changed since the last time I saw you." is the first thing that actually catches his attention during the otherwise boring conversation.
Sylus is not an overly jealous person simply because he is very secure of his love for you and how good he is to you. The only thing your ex does is greatly amuse him because the difference is too great to even be considered fair.
"Naturally. You surely don't expect someone to eat trash forever, do you?" He would answer for you in a smooth voice while he towers over the both of you with that confident expression of his on his face.
He feels almost sorry for you, who had to make do with such men, but, not to worry, he's here now and he's not going anywhere.
Xavier
Taunting his jealous side is the same as playing with fire while knowing you're going to get burn.
"Is that the type of guy you prefer?" He'd ask the second the two of you are alone again. His hands pin you to the closest surface so you're unable to run from the conversation and he keeps his face very close to yours to watch for even the smallest reactions "Do you like him more than me?"
My advice? Say no as quickly as possible and give him a kiss to shush him otherwise you're in for the long, loooooong haul. Xavier is not easily soothed once he's worked up and he WILL hold grudges.
The next time your ex shows up he is quick to cut the conversation before they can even get a good morning in and makes it clear you belong to him now.
Rafayel
"What did you just say?" His head never whipped back faster mans almost twisted his own neck.
Arguably the most aggressive per se because he's SO obvious. To him it's just staggering you ever went out with anyone else, especially a thing like that, and that it's here, again, approaching you. Does it not see him? He's right there for god's sake!
"She's on duty so she can't talk to you right now. Or ever." He'd grab you by the shoulder as he sized the guy up and down with the most condescending and judgmental look on his face before scoffing. what a diva
He'll nag at you later for being "distracted while on the job" and say you're supposed to pay attention to him at all times otherwise how will his dear bodyguard protect him? Please be more mindful!
Caleb
It was a school reunion party when your old high school sweetheart came up to the both of you.
"Oh hey, I remember you! Weren't you the guy who got kicked out for cheating on his graduation exam?" He says with an innocent grin on his face knowing full well the guy is a deadbeat and making sure others heard it too.
It's canon he kept track of all crushes MC had while growing up and I'm sure he goes out of his way to show you their bad points so you won't even consider looking their way.
In some cases, Caleb had to get rid of them by manipulating things behind the scenes if they didn't take the hint and this one was one of those cases.
The guy was struggling with his grades and who is he to deny a helping hand? All he did was slip the sheet of answers to the test without anyone knowing, it's not his fault if the idiot accepted it knowing it was against the rules. Such an angel, isn't he.
This interaction will lead to him being even more territorial around you and he wants you to just stay home with him where it's safe. Pretty please?
Zayne
He will step in if they are bothering you by pretending he needs your immediate help in the office but otherwise Zayne merely listening in the background.
Once they're gone the silence is so loud.
You can basically feel that he's bothered by something, but he won't open his mouth even if you ask him about it because it's 'petty and childish'.
"Are you happy with me?" He'd eventually ask you after stewing in his own thoughts for the day. What if your tastes hadn't changed and you were just too nice to tell him he's not doing enough? That he is not enough.
Please reassure this sweet man that you're happy in the relationship. Especially so if your ex is the type that is super extroverted and easy to get along with since that's one of the points he struggles with the most.
The problem goes away on its own after some good quality time together and affectionate words.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lads#caleb love and deepspace#lads caleb#caleb x reader#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x reader#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#lads rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lads fluff#lnds
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until i found you — ryomen sukuna.
"I figured you’d be into something more... aggressive music." you admitted, watching as he leaned back, arms crossed, listening intently. He scoffed. "What, you think I only listen to music that makes me wanna fight people?" "...Yes?" "Tch. Idiot." He turned his attention back to the music, tapping his fingers idly against his knee. "This one’s alright. But Tchaikovsky’s better." Your jaw dropped. "Wait, you like Tchaikovsky?" "Yeah? And what?" You shook your head in disbelief. "I just... I wouldn’t have guessed." "What, you think I don't have taste?" "I know you don’t have taste."
Genre: Alternate Universe — College! AU;
Warning/s: Short Fic, General Rating, AFAB! Reader, Use of She/Her, Use of Female Centered Identification, Pet Names (Babe, My Love, Etc), Romance, Fluff, Humour, Love, Comfort/No Hurt, Established Relationship, Lovers, Dating, Feeling, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Idiots In Love, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Healthy Relationship, Friendships, Profanity, Swearing, Violence, Depiction of Violence, Mention of Violence, Volleyball Captain! Sukuna, Boyfriend! Sukuna, Girlfriend! Reader;
Words: 8.6k words.
Note: i'm so sorry for the delay on the satosugu fic, the time frame of my schedule is not allowing me to go and finish it. its going to be delayed. as my apology, please enjoy this litle thing from me. also, im opening commissions, so if you wanna commission me, look here!!! in any case, i love you all so much. see you soon <3
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if you want to, tip! <3
lovesick playlist
IT WAS NOT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT LIKE EVERYONE THINKS IT IS. Not all love stories were meant to be that, after all. But it was interesting nonetheless that it was how you got to know about him for the first time.
The first thing you heard from where you stood was that rather brutish hit of impact. A dull, sickening thud followed by a sharp grunt of pain.
The loud and rowdy crowd that had gathered near the school gate was already thick by the time you arrived. At the back where you stood, their voices a mix of eager whispers and nervous gasps.
A fight wasn’t uncommon near the school, there were quite a lot of delinquents in your school. Even the teachers were wanting to stay clear of it. But the sheer energy in the air told you this wasn’t just any fight.
You pushed up on your toes trying to see above all these tall figures, craning your neck to see past the wall of uniformed backs. And that’s when you spotted him. Your eyes couldn’t help but widen at the sight you were seeing now.
That pink haired standing tall above that guy.
His name escaped you, but you’ve heard of him. His name carried weight even in places he had never stepped foot in. If anything, it brought chills to people’s spines. The goosebumps were always felt just at the mention of his name, just as much as fear echoes when you catch his darkened eyes. You’ve never seen him before, that was for sure. But you’ve heard of him. And he had quite the name.
This is what your friends were talking about. This is a delinquent in the purest sense—not the kind that smoked behind the gym and skipped class for fun, but the kind who sent people to the hospital and still walked away with that damned smirk on his face. And he was smirking now.
Even with the blood bellowing down on his lip, the brutally raw scrape on his knuckles ensuing through each punch, the loose tie hanging off his collar. You could tell he just really looked bored.
That had surprised you more than anything, if you were being honest. You thought that this would at least feel like a thrill for him. Violence usually feels like that. You would have thought a delinquent would feel that way.
Yet it was like he was toying with the guy in front of him, who was hunched over helplessly, clutching his ribs and struggling to breathe at the act of being beaten down by the fiend in front of him.
And still, it was the most uninteresting thing he’s ever found himself doing. This fuschia haired young boy seemed so bored at the prospect of this kid not being able to fight back, or be interesting.
“Oi.” Sukuna drawled, tilting his head as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You done already? That’s pathetic.”
The other guy barely managed to lift his head before the fuschia haired kid moved—fluid, effortless, the kind of speed that made it clear this wasn’t just some reckless brawl. His fist collided with the guy’s jaw, sending him staggering back into the school gate with a loud clang.
“I thought you’d have more fun fighting, huh? You were having so much fun staring at a girl’s skirt just a bit, weren’t you? Come on, you prick. Get up!”
Somewhere in the crowd, someone flinched.
Someone else muttered a curse under their breath.
And you—you just stared at what was happening in front of you.
It wasn’t just the violence that had you frozen. It was the way he carried himself, the sheer audacity in every motion. He wasn’t just winning. He was playing over and over again like it was a game, even if it wasn’t. Like a predator dragging out the inevitable just because he could. And he wanted to hunt, he wanted to eat the weak from down under his feet.
Then, his scarlet gaze lifted.
For a single, breathless second, your eyes met.
A slow, deliberate shift came about him. It was like he had known you were watching the entire time but only now decided to acknowledge it. The corner of his mouth curled upward, something dark and knowing twisting in his expression.
He had noticed you.
A strange heat crawled up your spine, a mix of adrenaline and unease. You weren’t sure what unnerved you more. The fact that he had seen you, or the fact that you couldn’t look away.
His gaze had been fleeting. It was just a flicker of recognition before he turned back to his opponent. Yet, the fight wasn’t over.
And for some reason, you got the feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time Ryomen Sukuna looked your way. The thought made something tighten in your chest. Then all that was left was a a sharp crack.
A dull, sickening thud as his beaten opponent hit the pavement, groaning in pain. You barely had time to process it as you held your breath, before someone beside you finally snapped out of their stunned daze.
“Someone there, please go and call the teachers to break up the fight!”
The voice jolted you back to reality. A murmur rippled through the crowd—some of the students were panicked, the others seemed to be too excited, some already pulling out their phones and calling help, some were taking a video.
But that pink haired kid?
He just laughed.
Low, rough, full of something almost thrilled as he rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck, like the fight had barely warmed him up. The poor bastard groaned, barely managing to lift his head before slumping back down.
“You done?” he asked, gaze dropping to the guy on the ground.
The pink haired kid merely scoffed, brushing dust off his uniform before turning away, completely unbothered. Then his gaze flickered up again. Right at you. It barely lasted only a second. But it was intentional. Like he was acknowledging you. Marking you.
And just like that, with teachers finally rushing onto the scene, that kid with the pink hair turned on his heel and walked off, slipping through the growing chaos like he hadn’t just left another name to fear in his wake. You exhaled, stomach tight, fingers curled into your sleeves.
You should forget this. Forget him.
But you knew—deep down, you wouldn’t.
And something told you that he wouldn’t, either.
══════════════════
YOU WERE SURE THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR PEACEFUL TIME. After all, the school rooftop was supposed to be empty during lunch time. Lately, it has been your sanctuary after a long morning of back to back classes.
It was the one place you could escape to when the noise of everything became too much, when the dull routine of school felt suffocating. Up here, the wind was sharp, the air felt clearer, and for just a little while, you could be alone.
But today, someone else was here.
Someone wasn’t supposed to be there.
Yet you can tell someone up there from just the slit of the door.
You quickly noticed him the moment you stepped through the rooftop door. It was a figure sprawled across the concrete near the fence, arms behind his head, one knee bent, the other leg lazily extended.
Even before you fully registered who it was, your body tensed, instincts screaming at you to retreat. But then your eyes landed on his face, and your breath caught in your throat. That kid from the fight on the first day.
Wait, what the hell? You think to yourself almost panicked. Why is he here?
You tried to remember his name for a moment, racking your brain.
That’s right! You gasped quietly to yourself. It’s Ryomen. Ryomen Sukuna. That’s what his name was!
Even asleep, he looked like trouble. His uniform was rumpled, the first few buttons undone, his tie discarded somewhere beside him. A faint cut graced his cheekbone. It seems to be fresh, like he had gotten into another fight earlier but couldn’t be bothered to clean up before crashing here. He must have been exhausted from the fight.
You should leave. You really should. The last thing you needed was to get caught in his orbit. But the thought of giving up your quiet retreat made frustration coil in your stomach. So, with careful, measured steps, you sat down a few feet away, placing your lunch in your lap and making sure to keep your movements silent. Maybe—just maybe—if you were lucky, he wouldn’t wake up.
You weren’t lucky. It happened in an instant. A low breath, a subtle shift. Then, his scarlet eyes snapped open. A cold, sinking weight settled in your chest as your gaze locked with his.
It was the first time you had ever seen his eyes up close.
They weren’t just sharp, they were dangerous. It was like a blade that glinted under the light, beautiful in its lethality. There was no haze of sleep in them, no confusion. Just silent, unwavering awareness. A predator waking to find someone in its space. His gaze flicked over you, slow and deliberate, before settling back on your face.
“…...The hell are you staring at?” His voice was rough from sleep, low and edged with irritation.
You stiffened, fingers tightening around your chopsticks. Your brain scrambled for a response, something that wouldn’t make this worse. “…Nothing.”
His thick brow twitched. For a second, you thought he might call you out on your lie. But he seemed too tired to even care. Ryomen Sukuna let out a lazy scoff, stretching his arms over his head with a bone-popping crack before settling back down.
“Tch. Whatever.”
And just like that, he closed his eyes again.
You blinked. That was it?
No sneering remarks? No challenge?
The tension in your chest didn’t ease, but the kid didn’t seem to care about your presence anymore. Like you weren’t worth his energy. Like you were barely an afterthought.
The wind carried the distant sound of the school bell ringing in the distance, signaling the lunch break was halfway over. You forced yourself to exhale, slow and steady, before finally peeling open your lunch box.
Maybe, just maybe, you could still eat in peace.
But something told you this wasn’t the last time your paths would cross.
And that thought was far more unnerving than you wanted to admit.
You tried to ignore him.
Tried to focus on your lunch, on the way the wind ruffled your uniform, on the distant sounds of students laughing below. Anything but the fact that Ryomen Sukuna was still there, barely a few feet away, resting like he owned the entire rooftop.
But no matter how much you tried to tune him out from the background as you ate, the weight of his presence lingered. It was like a storm cloud on the horizon, waiting to crack open.
The silence just continued to stretch through the blowing winds. Then, you felt a shift. A quiet, subtle rustling of fabric as the fuschia haired kid turned his head slightly, cracking one eye open in your direction.
“You always eat up here?”
You faltered mid-bite. “Huh?”
His tone wasn’t particularly interested in what you were doing or why you were here, but the fact that he was speaking to you at all was… unsettling. Everything about this moment just felt too tense, it was making your stomach spin. A moment passed before you swallowed and forced yourself to respond.
“…Yeah.” You finally whispered back at him.
Sukuna made a low sound—half amusement, half acknowledgment. “Tch. Thought so. You don’t look like the type to sit with all the other idiots down there.”
You frowned, unsure whether that was supposed to be an insult or not. But he didn’t elaborate. Instead, he shifted onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow now, watching you with an unreadable expression. It made your skin prickle.
“…What?” you muttered, feeling the need to break the silence.
His smirk curled slow and lazy, like he was enjoying something only he understood. “Nothing.”
Liar. You think to yourself, gripping your chopsticks too hard. This kid…..
His scarlet gaze stayed on you for a second longer, then, without another word, he flopped back down, arms behind his head once more. A breeze passed between you, carrying the faint scent of metal and sweat. It was as though the remnants of whatever fight he had been in earlier bristles past you both.
You should have been relieved that he lost interest, that he wasn’t prying any further. But something about the way he had looked at you left an uneasy weight in your chest. As if, despite everything, despite the distance you had tried to keep. He had just decided you were interesting.
You tried to keep eating, but your appetite had taken a hit. Something about the way Ryomen Sukuna had looked at you unnerved you. It was that look, that lazy, knowing, look. It was like he had already decided something about you. And that had more than ever made it hard to focus on anything else.
The rooftop had always been your place.
It was your quiet retreat to begin with.
But now, with him here, it felt different.
Everything just felt like it was off-balance, occupied.
You stole a glance at him. He was still lying there, arms behind his head, eyes closed again like he hadn’t just made your skin crawl a moment ago. His breathing was steady, his expression unreadable, but you knew better than to think he wasn’t aware of everything around him.
He was too sharp for that. The last thing you wanted was to let him think he had you rattled, so you forced yourself to eat. One bite. Another. Just ignore him. You were going to finish with your meal soon enough.
You can go back and take a walk after this. You busied yourself with finishing the meal, letting the silence reign over. But the silence didn’t last long, as you would like to hope.
“So?”
You paused mid-chew, blinking. “What?”
Sukuna didn’t move. “How long are you gonna sit there pretending I don’t exist?”
You stiffened. His voice was laced with amusement, but there was something else underneath it. You couldn’t help but think that there was something unreadable in there. It was mysterious, it was a pandemonium you could never know escape from. It was like he remains that sphinx who wants your attention to solve his enigma.
“I’m not pretending about anything.” you muttered, keeping your gaze on your lunch.
“Yeah?” A soft chuckle, low and lazy. “Then why do you look so tense?”
Your chopsticks froze in place. You weren’t tense. Were you? That had made you sit still, even more frozen than before as you start to question yourself. Before you could answer, Ryomen Sukuna finally moved, rolling onto his side to look at you again. The way his sharp eyes dragged over you made your spine go rigid, and you hated that he noticed.
“Tch.” he scoffed. “You really don’t talk much, huh?”
You swallowed down your irritation. “I don’t see a reason to.”
That made him smirk. “Smart.”
You didn’t know why, but the word felt like a backhanded compliment. Then, as if he had already lost interest, he flopped back onto his back, exhaling like he had all the intention of that being his last breath to you.
This whole interaction was nothing more than an afterthought to him.
You should have been relieved all about it.
But somehow, you just weren’t.
Because for some reason, Ryomen Sukuna’s presence lingered in your mind like a storm you couldn’t quite ignore. Even as you left that place, knowing he’d fallen back asleep, you found yourself in a quagmire of him. Your lips pressed into a line as you walked back into the hallways. You had a sinking feeling that this wasn’t the last time you’d find him up here.
And you were right to feel it.
A few days passed.
And just as you feared, Ryomen Sukuna did in fact keep showing up.
The first time that happened, you thought it was a coincidence. Maybe he was just skipping class, maybe he liked the solitude too, though nothing about Ryomen Sukuna screamed quiet loner.
But by the fifth time, you knew better.
You pushed open the rooftop door one afternoon, lunch in hand, only to find him already there—again. This time, he was sitting up, arms resting on his knees, a cigarette dangling between his fingers, the smoke curling lazily in the breeze.
You hesitated in the doorway. “That’s illegal for a kid to do, you know?”
“Does it matter?” He glanced at you, expression unreadable. “You’re late.”
Your grip tightened on your lunchbox. “I didn’t know we had a schedule.”
A lazy smirk pulled at his lips. “We do now.”
You didn’t respond, just walked past him and sat in your usual spot, a careful distance away. Ryomen Sukuna didn’t say anything after that, just went back to watching the sky, flicking ash from his cigarette with a slow, practiced motion.
It was almost peaceful, you would say. Well, almost. But even in silence, he was there, taking up space, shifting the air around him like gravity itself bent to his will. And you hated that you were starting to get used to it. It was starting to get a little bit more comfortable to you, the concept of being together.
Halfway through your meal, he spoke again. “What’s your deal?”
You blinked. “What?”
He turned his head slightly, looking at you with a lazy sort of curiosity. “You. You always eat alone, you don’t talk much, and you look like you’d rather be anywhere else.”
You frowned, ignoring the prickle of irritation at how easily he had read you. “Maybe I just don’t like people.”
Sukuna chuckled, low and amused. “Yeah? Same.”
He flicked the cigarette away, watching the embers burn out as it hit the concrete. Then, before you could think of a response, he leaned back against the metal chain linked fence, stretching his arms out over the metal railing, and exhaled like he had just decided something.
“Guess I’ll keep you company, then.”
You nearly choked. “Excuse me?”
Sukuna grinned, sharp and cocky. “You don’t like people. I don’t like people. We can not like people together.”
You stared at him, searching for some kind of punchline, some hint that he was messing with you. But he just looked at you, completely at ease, like he had already made up his mind and your opinion didn’t matter. Something about that made your stomach twist.
You narrowed your eyes. “I didn’t ask for company.”
He shrugged. “Too bad. You’ve interested me.”
You frowned. Interested in him?
That wasn’t something you wanted.
Not from Ryomen Sukuna.
Your chopsticks hovered over your lunch as you tried to pretend like his words didn’t bother you, but you could feel his scarlet gaze still on you—watching, studying. Like you were a puzzle he was in no rush to solve, content just to poke at the pieces and see what happened.
“That’s not my problem, Ryomen.” you muttered, stabbing a piece of food a little too aggressively.
Sukuna only chuckled, the sound low and amused. “You’re acting like you have a choice.”
That made your eye twitch. You set your chopsticks down with a quiet click, turning to finally face him. “I do have a choice.”
He smirked, head tilting slightly. “Do you?”
His confidence was infuriating. And you hated how smooth it was. You hated how he just knows he’s right. He wasn’t asking you. You knew that. He was stating, dictating as if he had already decided the outcome, as if whatever you thought didn’t really matter. And that irritated you more than anything else.
“You can’t just show up here and declare that we’re friends or something.” you snapped.
Sukuna scoffed. “Who said anything about being friends?”
That threw you off. “…Then what the hell do you want?”
He grinned, sharp and wolfish, like he had been waiting for you to ask. “Dunno. You’re interesting. Thought I’d stick around and see what you do.”
Your stomach twisted at that.
Like you were some kind of entertainment.
God, how much you wanted to curse just now.
Your lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m not here to entertain you.”
Sukuna leaned back against the fence, completely unfazed. “Good. That’d be boring.”
You exhaled through your nose, trying to wick away the irritation bubbling under your skin. There was no point in arguing with him. The more you pushed, the more he seemed to enjoy it. So instead, you picked up your chopsticks and ignored him.
A breeze swept through the rooftop. Ryomen Sukuna didn’t speak again, but you could still feel his presence lingering beside you—heavy, unwavering, unmoving. It wasn’t a threat. Not exactly. But it wasn’t nothing, either.
And deep down, you had the unsettling feeling that no matter how much you resisted, no matter how much space you tried to put between yourself and him. Sukuna had already decided. And he wasn’t going anywhere. Just like that, that conversation was over.
You watched as Sukuna leaned back against the fence again, tilting his head up toward the sky, completely unbothered, like he hadn’t just decided to insert himself into your space without permission. Like it was inevitable. And deep down, no matter how much you wanted to deny it as you ate your lunch, you had a feeling he wasn’t wrong.
══════════════════
YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE NOT LET HIM DECIDE THIS ‘FRIENDSHIP’ YOU BOTH HAVE. You really should have known when to put your foot down. But you just really were not that good at getting it across as he has. This is why you were stuck in this situation. You glared as you sat there and decided that Ryomen Sukuna was an absolute menace.
Your new friend was someone who was a feared name across campus. A natural-born fighter. A troublemaker with a cocky smirk and a sharp tongue that could tear people apart just as effectively as his fists.
And yet, here he was irritating you to death with that smirk on his lips as he quipped you a new joke you absolutely hated. Here he was, sitting on the rooftop like some stray cat, drinking a strawberry milk carton and eating anpan like a child at recess.
You like to think that if he was just not making those annoying jokes and just sat down and let you watch him eat in silence, mayhaps you would be more mildly amused as he took slow sips of the sweet drink.
“You look like you’re thinking too hard, hm?” Sukuna said, voice full of that lazy, smug amusement that made your eyes twitch.
You didn’t respond. Just glared. Ryomen Sukuna, looking unfazed as always, took another obnoxiously slow sip of his strawberry milk, the straw making an irritating slurping noise that set your teeth on edge.
“Let me guess…..” he continued, tapping his chin in mock thought. “You’re wondering how the hell you got stuck with me, aren’t you?”
You set your lunch down with a sharp click and gave him a look. “I wasn’t wondering. I know exactly how. You forced it.”
Sukuna grinned. “Damn right, I did.”
You wanted to throw his anpan off the roof.
It was insufferable, how much he enjoyed this, how much he enjoyed riling you up. Lately, it was like it was his new favorite pastime. And the worst part? You weren’t even sure if he was doing it on purpose or if he was just naturally this unbearable.
“You could, you know.” he mused, watching you with an almost amused curiosity.
You frowned. “Could what?”
He smirked. “Tell me to get lost. Put your foot down. Give me a real reason to leave.”
Your fingers clenched slightly, grip tightening around your chopsticks. He was daring you. Testing you. He wanted to see if you’d actually do it. And the problem was—you should. You really should. But the words wouldn’t come out.
Because despite how much he irritated you, despite how much you wanted to not be in this situation… there was a part of you that knew: Ryomen Sukuna wasn’t just a delinquent. He wasn’t just a troublemaker or some violent, cocky bastard who liked to fight.
You knew that he was a force of nature, one that has overwhelmed you more than anything else. And trying to push him away was like trying to tell a storm to stop blowing. So instead of answering, you just scowled and turned back to your food, hoping he’d drop it.
Sukuna chuckled, shaking his head as he took another sip of his drink. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
Menace. Absolute menace.
You were never getting rid of him.
And worst of all? You weren’t even sure if you wanted to anymore.
You could only sigh as the long reach of his fingers lazily crinkled the carton. The contrast between his usual rough demeanor and this absurdly peaceful moment never failed to amuse you. More often than not, after these little breaks, he would stretch his legs out, lean against the railing, and pass out. Like clockwork.
And somehow, without either of you ever talking about it, it became a routine. You would sit beside him, pretending to read or scroll through your phone, only to glance at him as he inevitably dozed off, arms crossed, head tilting slightly to the side.
There were times when he’d wake up with a soft mutter. "Well, well, well. You’re still here, aren’t you?"
And you would always reply the same way. "Well, yeah. Someone’s gotta make sure you don’t roll off the roof and die."
At first, he just scoffed at you.
But over time, it changed.
The thanks he used to mutter under his breath became a little clearer. The hesitation in his voice lessened. And then there were the nights when he wasn’t just tired—he was beat. Bruised knuckles, scuffed knees, a split lip that he’d wipe with the back of his hand as if it was nothing.
You had quietly started bringing bandages for him from time to time. The first time you handed him some, he stared at them like you had just offered him a kidney. It was really a pitiful sight, that look in his eyes, both of you knew that.
And yet all at once, it was interesting. That warmth you never expected to see in his eyes. One that he had never expected to feel, one that you had never expected to know.
“Don’t need ‘em right now.” he muttered.
You just stared back. “Sure you don’t.”
He clicked his tongue, but after a moment, he snatched them from your hand anyway. “Tch. You’re so damn nosy.”
That continued for a while. And somehow, that too evolved. At some point, mealtime got involved. It started with him watching you eat one day, his gaze flicking between you and your food like he was debating whether or not to ask.
“You want some?” you finally said, raising an eyebrow.
He scoffed. “No.”
Not even five minutes later, his gaze still hadn’t left your food.
You sighed. “You’re a terrible liar, goddamn. All you eat is anpan. Of course you want this.”
“Shut up.”
You ended up splitting your lunch with him that day. At times, you realized he had a bigger appetite. So you pack more and more, so you both can share more food to last you the day for energy.
You thought it would be a one off thing, but then you kept packing more and more every day. And then the next. And then the day after that. And somehow, before you even realized it, lunch breaks together on the school rooftop became another routine, like a picnic made for the two of you. Some days, you’d talk about random things between bites.
"Have you ever thought about how weird the school anthem is? Like, who wrote that?"
"Probably some dead guy, stop overthinking it." He snickers, eating the lunch you made for him.
On the other mundane days, you’d find yourselves caught up in a very serious competition over stolen playing card games he brings to school. Well, card games he finds somewhere you didn’t even want to think about.
"You pocketed these off a junior?" you asked in disbelief, shuffling the deck.
Sukuna smirked, leaning back against the railing. "Dumbass lost a bet."
"You bullied a much younger kid for this?"
"Tch. He knew the stakes."
You shook your head but still dealt the cards.
Because at this point, why not?
So, you just go with this flow, yeah.
The feared, notorious Ryomen Sukuna was a force to be reckoned with. But somehow, between all the rooftop naps, strawberry milk cartons, late afternoon bandages, and card games, you had carved out a space in his life. And whether he admitted it or not, he didn’t really mind.
And it’s even more weirdly freaky that you and Sukuna ended up sharing a habit of listening to music whenever you had free time. You had your own preferences, of course, but one day, when you passed him one of your earbuds, you were shocked to realize that he actually liked classical music.
"I figured you’d be into something more... aggressive music." you admitted, watching as he leaned back, arms crossed, listening intently.
He scoffed. "What, you think I only listen to music that makes me wanna fight people?"
"...Yes?"
"Tch. Idiot." He turned his attention back to the music, tapping his fingers idly against his knee. "This one’s alright. But Tchaikovsky’s better."
Your jaw dropped. "Wait, you like Tchaikovsky?"
"Yeah? And what?"
You shook your head in disbelief. "I just... I wouldn’t have guessed."
"What, you think I don't have taste?"
"I know you don’t have taste."
He flicked your forehead. That was the day you realized Ryomen Sukuna wasn’t just a brutish boy. If anything, he actually had opinions on things outside of fighting and being a bad boy. And, as it turned out, music wasn’t the only thing.
One afternoon, while you were sitting on the rooftop as usual, Ryomen Sukuna casually pulled out a book and flipped it open, acting like this was completely normal. Your whole mouth was agape to the floor, you were sure of that.
You blinked. "You read?"
He shot you a deadpan look. "No, I just stare at pages for fun."
You rolled your eyes, watching as he turned the page with the ease of someone who had definitely done this more than once. "...What’re you reading?"
"Something you wouldn’t get."
You raised an eyebrow. "Try me."
Instead of answering, he tossed the book at you.
You barely caught it before flipping to the cover.
"...I’ve never heard of this one."
"Figures." he smirked, leaning back against the railing. "You read the boring stuff."
You scoffed. "Excuse me, but I read classics."
"Exactly. Boring."
You gasped, clutching your chest in mock offense. "Oh how dare you?"
He snickers. “I’ll lend you my books, don’t worry. Now sit down and break my ear from your screaming.”
“Oh shut up!”
From then on, lending each other books became a thing. Sometimes, it was casual. Other times, it turned into heated debates over themes, characters, and why the hell Ryomen Sukuna thought the antagonist was right.
But the best part?
Every time he lent you a book, you always found little notes scribbled in the margins—much or less half of them insightful, half of them just him being an ass.
("This guy’s an idiot. Don’t be like him.")
("Bet you didn’t see that twist coming, nerd.")
("I already know you’re gonna argue with me about this part, so don’t even start.")
And you did argue.
But somehow, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
What started as a random book exchange had slowly become something bigger. It wasn’t just about lending each other books or debating over plot twists anymore. It was the way you’d catch Ryomen Sukuna leaning back in his chair, flipping through a book you’d recommended, his brow furrowed in thought.
Or the way he’d glance at you while you read one of his books, waiting for your reaction whenever you hit a major plot point. It was subtle, but it was there. And the teasing, of course, never stopped. You caught him very obviously staring at you while you were finishing one of his books.
You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “Something on my face?”
He smirked. “Nah, just wondering if you finally get why I was right.”
You huffed, snapping the book shut. “You’re not right.”
“I am.”
“You aren’t!”
“Okay, okay.” he drawled, stretching his arms over his head. “Let’s hear it then, Professor. Enlighten me.”
You scooted closer, pointing aggressively at a passage in the book. “Alright, listen, in this part—”
And that was how you both spent an entire afternoon, passionately arguing over fictional characters like it was a life-or-death situation.
Then came the day you discovered something else. Something about yourself.
And all it took was another day, another afternoon spent on the rooftop.
The sun was warm but not unbearable, the breeze just strong enough to rustle your hair as you leaned against the railing. Beside you, Sukuna sat cross-legged, nursing his beloved cold and fresh strawberry milk carton like it was some kind of divine nectar.
He tilted his head back, taking a long sip before letting out a very satisfied sigh. “Damn, this never gets old.”
You side-eyed him. “You sound like an old man reminiscing about his youth.”
“Tch.” He shot you a lazy smirk. “Better an old man than a nerd who stays up all night studying.”
You gasped, dramatically clutching your chest. “How dare you insult my commitment to academia?”
Sukuna chuckled, reaching into his pocket before casually pulling out a deck of cards. “Alright, nerd. Put your commitment to good use and try to beat me today.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Why do I get the feeling you cheat at this?”
He raised a brow, feigning innocence. “Would I ever?”
“Yes.”
Before he could retort, the rooftop door slammed open, and a very familiar, very exasperated voice rang out. “There you are!”
Both of you turned to see one of your classmates panting at the doorway, hands on their knees.
They pointed an accusatory finger at you. “You skipped the study group!”
Sukuna turned to you, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Oh? Nerd’s skipping study group? Scandalous.”
You groaned, rubbing your temples. “It’s one session.”
“You never skip.” Your classmate shot a pointed glance at Sukuna, then back at you, suspicion creeping into their features. “Wait. Are you guys dating?”
You froze. “H–huh? What the—”
Ryomen Sukuna—because he was Ryomen Sukuna—immediately grinned like the menace he was.
“Damn, caught in the act, babe.” he drawled, draping an arm over your shoulder. “Guess the secret’s out.”
You smacked his arm away, face heating up. “Oh my god, shut up!”
Your classmate screeched. “You didn’t deny it—”
“BECAUSE HE’S AN IDIOT!” you practically shouted, shoving Sukuna off as he cackled at your suffering.
“Uh-huh.” they said, clearly not convinced. “I’m telling everyone—”
Sukuna smirked. “Go ahead. Maybe then everyone will finally stop flirting with her and I won’t have to glare at every idiot who tries.”
Your classmate’s jaw dropped. “Oh we’re at that level now, huh?”
You, on the other hand, were about two seconds away from exploding. “SUKUNA—”
“Tch, what? I’m just saying what we both know.”
“WE BOTH KNOW NOTHING.”
But even as you yelled at him, he just leaned back, smug as ever, sipping the last of his strawberry milk like he hadn’t just casually dropped a bomb on you and everyone with his stupid conversations.
And somehow, despite the absolute chaos he always brought into your life, you wouldn’t have it any other way. You would choose to be by his side if you were given the choice. Both you knew it too.
══════════════════
HE NEVER REALLY THOUGHT IT WOULD GO THIS FAR. But he doesn’t think he can enjoy going to school without seeing you on the rooftop with him. This is what entices him to even want to go to school. Slowly but surely, Ryomen Sukuna began to enjoy himself in your presence like this.
At first, it was subtle. So subtle that even he barely noticed it. The way his shoulders loosened when he was around you. The way his scowl softened when you teased him. The way he didn’t mind sharing his space, his food, his time with you.
Slowly but surely, he found himself eager for your attention more and more. It started with little things. Like how he’d glance at you first when he finally made a really good joke, just to see if you were laughing.
Or how, even in a crowded room, his eyes instinctively sought you out. How he’d nudge you with his knee when he was bored, just to get you to acknowledge him.
It was annoying. This thing he felt whenever you weren’t near. But you were the only true constant he had, you were the only one that he could find as permanence in the life lived with change. The only one who hadn’t turned away. The only one who didn’t look at him like he was some monster.
And one day, that thought made him stop in his tracks.
You weren’t looking at him badly at all.
You never had, even when you first met him.
Which made no damn sense.
One late afternoon, as you sat together on the rooftop, the sky a deep shade of blue hour in its peak indigo, Ryomen Sukuna found himself blurting out the question that had been gnawing at him for weeks.
“…Why do you stay by my side?”
You looked up from your book, blinking at him. “Huh?”
“I don’t get it.” He leaned back, arms crossed, frowning. “Why the hell do you hang around me? Everyone else either avoids me or wants something from me. But you just—”
"What?" You asked him.
He scowled, struggling to find the right words. “You just stay.”
You tilted your head, smiling slightly. “Because you’re interesting.”
He stared at you like you had grown a second head. “That’s your reason?”
“Yup.”
Sukuna scoffed. “You saw me beat a guy half to death on the first day.”
You laughed, shrugging. “But didn’t you do that because he was looking under a girl’s skirt?”
He paused at your words.
Suddenly, it was just a click.
Something in his chest clicked in place.
He hadn’t even thought about it back then. It wasn’t like he had done it to be some noble hero, he just didn’t like creeps. It was as simple as that. But the fact that you saw it that way? That you had been watching him just as closely as he had been watching you?
It made his ears burn hot red.
“Tch.” He looked away, clicking his tongue. “Still dumb of you to stick around for that.”
You grinned, nudging his arm. “Nah. I think I made a pretty good choice. I mean there were other things that came with that.”
And damn it, he hated how much he liked hearing that.
From that moment on, something shifted between you and Sukuna. Well, at least for him. He wouldn’t say it out loud—not yet, at least—but he had stopped questioning why you stayed. Maybe it was because you weren’t afraid of him.
Maybe it was because you always had a way of looking at him that made him feel like he wasn’t just some guy people feared. Maybe it was because, for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he had to prove himself to someone. You were just there.
And somehow, that was enough for him.
But of course, he wasn’t about to get all sappy about it.
He doesn’t dare be that loud about it.
“Alright, genius.” He leaned back, arms crossed, watching you scribble some scientific formula on your massive notepad. “If I’m so interesting, what’s the most interesting thing about me?”
You didn’t even hesitate. “You pretend to be meaner than you are.”
Sukuna scoffed. “Tch. Pretend?”
“Mhm.” You smirked. “You act like you don’t care, but you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“You literally gave that stray cat your milk carton last week, Sukuna.”
He groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “You’re still on about that?”
“Because it was cute, wasn’t it?” you teased, grinning. “You wanted to take it home with you and nurse it back to health!”
“I will throw you off this rooftop.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Try me.”
And maybe it was the way you were always ready to challenge him, the way you never backed down. Maybe it was the way you could see through him like no one else ever had. Either way, Ryomen Sukuna was doomed.
He was already losing the battle.
Because as much as he’d never admit it, he liked that you stayed.
He liked that you were there with him.
It wasn’t often that Ryomen Sukuna hesitated, that in itself was a fact to everyone you dare ask. But in the moment after that as he watched you continue to scribble on your notepad, he found himself struggling even more. He couldn’t help it.
He wasn’t the type to second-guess himself, to stall, or to act shy about something he wanted. When he set his sights on something, he took it, it was as simple as that. But now, as he sat beside you as he watched you, hands shoved in his pockets, lips pressed together in an almost pout, he looked… hesitant. Which was weird.
You tilted your head. “What’s up with you, Sukuna? You were just fine earlier. I mean you were alright with the banter. Now you’re stunned to silence again.”
Sukuna clicked his tongue, eyes flickering away. “It’s nothing.”
“Liar.” You snickered, not looking up at him. “You don’t lose your words with it being nothing.”
His furrowed brows twitched, and you could see the gears turning in his head. He wanted to say something. You just had to be patient. “…I’m gonna try out for the volleyball team.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait, really?”
He gave a slow nod, avoiding your gaze. “Yeah. I just….thought I need a new leaf.”
“Well, that’s good on you, Sukuna! Less fights, more rights—but on court!”
“Hey, I’m left handed!”
You giggled. “Just kidding.”
And now that you really looked at him, you noticed the way his fingers fidgeted slightly at his sides, how his usual sharp expression was replaced by something almost… uncertain. You could see the red echo all over his face and neck and even his ears.
That was when it hit you.
He wanted to ask you to come.
He wanted you there.
You opened your mouth, but before he could get a single word out, you grinned and butted in. “I’ll be there.”
Sukuna blinked. “Huh?”
“You were gonna ask me to come, right?” You nudged him playfully. “So, yeah. I’ll be there. Front row seat.”
For a moment, he just stared at you, lips parting slightly like he was searching for some kind of response. Then, he scowled, clicking his tongue. “Annoying.”
You laughed. “You love it.”
“Debatable.” But despite his grumbling, you swore you saw the corners of his lips twitch into the smallest smile.
And just like that, Ryomen Sukuna, someone who never asked for anyone’s approval had finally found something he wanted even more than volleyball. He wanted you to see him win. He wanted to see you there when he got his uniform and his place on the team.
“You’re really cute right now, do you know that?”
“Huh? Who are you callin’ cute?”
“Sukuna, give me back my notepad, you tall jerk!”
“Reach for it, shorty!”
══════════════════
epilogue
It started as a normal post-practice dinner, like it always was. It was normal, meaning loud and chaotic thanks to Gojo and Geto and how they roped Yuuji into their antics. The seven of you were packed into your usual corner booth, plates stacked high, drinks half-empty, and conversation buzzing with easy banter.
Then Itadori Yuuji—bless his pure, curious heart—asked the question that sealed Sukuna’s fate. “So… how did you guys even meet?”
You paused, chopsticks mid-air. “Oh, uh…. What do you wanna know?”
The bright-eyed junior smiled at you. “As much as you wanna say, senpai!”
Captain Ryomen Sukuna, who had just taken a bite of pork cutlet, froze. He slowly chewed, scarlet eyes darting toward you like he was calculating whether he should trust you with the answer. Big mistake.
Gojo immediately leaned in. “Oh-ho-ho, now this I wanna hear.”
Geto grinned, leaning back at the white haired vice-captain. “Yeah, you guys never really told us the full story.”
Megumi groaned. “And you really don’t need to.”
Nanami merely sighed, but there was a tiny flicker of interest in his otherwise indifferent expression. You turned to your boyfriend, Ryomen Sukuna with the smuggest look ever. He turned to you, panicked and horrified.
You smirked. “Wanna tell them, my love?”
His eyes twitched. “I hate when you say it like that, so damn mischievous.”
Gojo gasped, delighted. “Wait. You call senpai babe, but she can’t call you babe? Oh my god. This is so good.”
Sukuna shot him a deadly glare. “Do you want me to stab you with my chopsticks? And again, we talked about this. I like being called my love by my girl or nothing.”
"Aw, I'm your girl?"
"I'm going to sleep on the couch later with your stuffed bunny."
"My love, that's just cruel!" You pouted.
His eyes falters as he lowers his head and blushes. "Goddamn it."
Megumi snickers, leaning back. "Are we just gonna skip over the captain liking bunny plushies?"
Sukuna looks up. "I'm going to throttle you."
Gojo shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone tried.”
Geto snorted, turning to you. “Anyway, go on and spill, senpai!”
You grinned at him, leaning into the table. “We met in middle school. Sukuna was a menace.”
Sukuna scoffed. “Was?”
“Fine, is.”
Megumi muttered, “Glad we’re acknowledging it, senpai.”
Ignoring them, you continued, “The first time I saw him, he was absolutely wrecking some guy in a fight.”
Yuuji choked on his drink. “HUH???”
Megumi sighed. “Of course senpai was a delinquent.”
“But, but—” You raised a finger. “The guy was really horrible. Sukuna saw that he was looking under another junior’s girl’s skirt and it was making the girl feel horrible, so he jumped in and he started a fight.”
Gojo cackled. “Oh my god, senpai! You saw him commit to beating a guy in a fight and thought, ‘wow, what a prince.’”
Sukuna groaned, dropping his forehead onto the table. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
You patted his back, grinning. “He didn’t get into fights without reason, don’t worry! Anyway, I stuck around. And before he knew it, he couldn’t get rid of me.”
Sukuna grumbled, “Yeah, you were annoying.”
“Were?”
He sighed, already regretting his entire existence. “Fine. Are.”
Yuuji grinned. “So basically… you made the first move?”
Sukuna sat up, looking deeply offended. “No.”
Nanami, who had been quietly sipping his tea, suddenly added, “You were the one who asked senpai to come to your volleyball tryouts.”
Sukuna turned to him, betrayed. “I thought you didn’t get involved in stupid conversations, Nanami.”
“I don’t.” Nanami set his cup down calmly. “But this is funny.”
Gojo howled. “Oh, this is fantastic. Loverboy Ryomem Sukuna actually invited senpai first! Was, he blushing, senpai?”
You grinned. “Hm, he was!”
Geto smirked. “You know what that means, right? That means you made the first move, cap!”
“I DID NOT.”
“You definitely did, captain.” Megumi muttered.
You grinned, resting your chin on your palm. “Face it, my love. Like it or not, you love me with everything you’ve got.”
Sukuna grumbled, looking away, ears red. “Tch. Tolerate is a better word.”
But the way he let you lean against him, the way his fingers brushed against yours under the table?
Yeah, you grinned.
You knew the truth.
And that’s why Sukuna was suffering.
Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
All because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.
And he loved you for it, more than anything.
Gojo and Geto were thriving off his pain, Megumi looked like he wanted to die just by being associated with this conversation, and Nanami, the one person who usually had self-control, had actually joined in on roasting him.
Worst of all? You were sitting there, all smug and grinning, as if you weren’t the reason his dignity was being publicly executed.
"Okay, okay." Yuuji laughed, leaning forward eagerly. "So when did you two actually start dating? Who said I love you first?"
Sukuna groaned, rubbing his temples. "Why are we still talking about this?"
"Because it's hilarious, captain!" Gojo said, sipping his drink with a shit-eating grin.
"You guys are acting like this is some historical event!" Sukuna muttered.
"You being in a relationship is basically a historical event, you know that, right?" Megumi deadpanned.
Nanami somewhat agreed. “It’s hard to know how to keep you settled, captain.”
“That’s going to earn you both more burpees!”
You giggled, reaching over to flick Sukuna’s ear. “Come on, tell them how you said it first.”
Sukuna scowled at you. “I didn’t say it first.”
"You so did, huh?" Geto smirked, drumming his fingers on the table.
Sukuna shot him a murderous glare. "No, I didn't."
"You absolutely did." you chirped, grinning.
Gojo perked up like he lived for this drama. "Wait, wait, wait—so the captain said I love you first?! Oh, this is damn gold."
Nanami took a sip of his drink, looking mildly interested. "How did this happen?"
Sukuna crossed his arms, looking like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. "It was not a confession. It was—"
"A moment of weakness?" Megumi guessed dryly.
"A lapse in judgment?" Geto suggested.
"A divine miracle?" Gojo threw in, wiggling his eyebrows.
Sukuna clicked his tongue, looking at you like you were his final lifeline. He then looked at the other boys. “Multiple running laps on Monday.”
You, of course, were having too much fun. "Oh, it was so cute."
Sukuna groaned. "I swear to god—"
"Okay, okay!" You laughed, waving your hand. "I'll tell the story."
Sukuna immediately collapsed onto the table in defeat. “Jesus Christ—”
"So, one night after one of his games, Sukuna was exhausted—”
"As one is after carrying an entire team, mind you." Sukuna muttered.
You ignored him. "And he was so tired, he wasn’t really thinking before he spoke."
Gojo gasped dramatically. "The captain? Not thinking before he speaks? Shocking!"
You continued, undeterred. "So we were just sitting there, and I handed him a drink, and he just sighs and goes, ‘Man, I love you.’"
An echo of sudden silence.
Then the entire table erupted into chaos.
"NO. WAY." Yuuji nearly choked on his drink.
"AND IT WAS CASUAL? JUST LIKE THAT?" Gojo cackled.
"Disgusting." Megumi muttered, sipping his drink like he wasn’t deeply entertained.
Geto wiped a fake tear from his eye. "Damn. Our boy is whipped."
Sukuna, face fully buried in his hands, groaned. "I was tired!"
Nanami, who was enjoying himself far too much, nodded. "Ah. So it was an accidental confession."
You giggled, patting Sukuna’s back. "And then when I stared at him, all shocked, he tried to walk it back and was like, ‘Wait, no, I didn’t mean—’"
Sukuna slammed his forehead on the table. "I HATE YOU."
"Love you too, my love." you cooed sweetly, kissing his cheek.
Gojo nearly fell out of his chair laughing. "OH MY GOD, CAPTAIN! YOU’RE A LOSER."
Yuuji wiped tears from his eyes. "Man, I love this."
Megumi sighed. "This has been the worst meal of my life."
"Best meal of my life." Geto grinned.
Nanami sighed. "This shit makes me want a girlfriend."
Sukuna looked up, glaring at everyone. "I regret ever meeting you all."
"You love us." Gojo said, waving him off.
"No. I love her. Even if she's a fucking menace." Sukuna jabbed a finger at you. "I tolerate the rest of you."
You beamed, leaning into his side. "See? That was an intentional confession."
Sukuna groaned as the table roared with laughter again. “Why are we going through life like this?”
You smiled at him, leaning in and kissing his cheek. "I love you!"
Okay, maybe tonight was worth it.
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hello may i have a percy jackson x mortal reader (fluff because there too much angst with this trope) when the reader discover that he is a demigod, freak out but after annoy the heck of him asking him question about his power his family. established relationship :) please
۶ৎ — Fish Out of Water !
tap here for chb masterlists ! reqs open
Warnings: short as f ! humor, fluff, mild panic, percy struggling with too many questions, reader being way too curious about his powers.
ㅤ୨ৎ —˳ percy jackson ! mortal reader
Summary: percy never planned to spend his afternoon explaining his demigod status to you—especially not after you witnessed him slay a monster. Cue panic, existential crisis, and way too many questions.
𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗬 𝗝𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗛𝗔𝗗 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗔 lot of things from today. Maybe a pop quiz. Maybe some monster-related disaster. Maybe even a surprise date with you if he was lucky.
What he had not expected was you finding out he was a demigod in the worst way possible.
"Percy," you said, voice a little too calm, a little too thin, "why is that thing exploding into dust?"
He turned, saw the remains of the monster he’d just stabbed fading into nothing, and winced. "Uh."
"And why," you continued, eyes wild, "did it try to eat me?"
Percy shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. "Okay, so. Funny story—"
"Funny? Funny?" You threw your hands in the air. "Percy, that was a monster! A real, actual monster! That tried to kill me! And you just—" You made an exaggerated stabbing motion. "—like it was normal!?"
He winced. "I mean… it kind of is?"
You blinked. "I'm sorry. What."
So, yeah. Explaining that your very normal, very human boyfriend was actually not normal or human at all? Not how Percy had planned to spend his afternoon.
The initial freak-out was… intense. There was yelling. Pacing. Wild gestures. At one point, you threatened to "check him for gills" just to make sure he wasn’t secretly a fish.
But then—because of course—you started asking questions.
Too many questions.
"Wait, so when you say Poseidon is your dad, do you mean, like, biologically? Or is it more of a ‘divine vibes’ situation?"
"It’s weird."
You squinted. "So, if we have kids, they’ll be, what? Quarter-gods?"
Percy choked. "We are not—" He waved wildly. "—having this conversation right now."
"Okay, fine, whatever," you said, waving him off. "But, like. Can you breathe underwater?"
"Yeah."
"Can you talk to dolphins?"
"Yes."
"Can you control dolphins? Because that would be so cool—"
"No, I cannot summon an army of dolphins."
You looked vaguely disappointed. "Okay, but what if—"
Percy groaned, tipping his head back. "You are never letting this go, are you?"
"Absolutely not," you said cheerfully. "So. Do you glow when you're wet, or—"
"Oh my gods, shut up," he whined, taking you by the chin to silence you with a kiss. His lips met yours with that softness and carefree manner characteristic of Percy, while he placed his free hand on your lower back with the sole purpose of bringing you closer to him.
You let yourself melt in the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck just before a smile formed on your lips. In the middle of the kiss, you managed to mumble, "A fish is kissing me?"
The words came out with the pure purpose of annoying Percy, and he growled into the kiss. "I hate you."
It was going to be a long day.
──﹙xoxo, s﹚
#bvrnesher#‧₊˚✧ s. posting !#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa#riordanverse#riordanverse x reader#pjo x reader#pjo series#percy series#percy pjo#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson#pjo fanfic#camp half blood#pjo fluff#fluff#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson fluff
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
And here's the epilogue, guys! Hope you'll enjoy it! ^^ I actually had wanted to draw Yashiki with the kids for this part's chapter art but this week hasn't been great for me on the creative side, sadly. After a lot of struggling I threw the towel and ended up just drawing (a hopefully cute) Yashiki. Anyway, I want to give my thanks again to all readers and a special big Thank You to everyone leaving comments! I'm super grateful for your support and that you took the time and effort to write these!! <3
With this part, we've finally cracked the 100-pages-mark! I never thought this project would become this big when I started working on it a few months ago, but here we are! xD So this plays one day after the successful pacification of the Departed. Yashiki is still in the hospital to recover but already feeling a lot better! I guessed it would make sense to have him getting a cold because of the events the night before - he'd been dragged out of bed by the Departed, held in it's clutches for who knows how long only wearing thin hospital clothes in a chilly cold room (because spirits often cause the room temperature to drop). Not to forget that his health state hasn't been the best in general since he fell victim to the curse. I just liked to add that small detail. ^^
I was glad that I found a way to include Ai and Tsukasa here, so I got almost every Mark Bearer included in this story (sorry Banshee ^^'). I know it's probably a bit weird that Ai is wearing her idol costume here when doing a hospital visit. I thought about drawing her in some alternate everyday clothes but decided against it because I didn't want her to be the only one to wear a non-canon outfit. My explanation for her wearing that in this scene is that Ai just returned from that "idol-buisness trip" and, after hearing that Yashiki is in the hospital, went straight there after work.
I hope I did Moe's character justice here. I can just imagine her being a little cheeky and very enthusiastic about the OOPArts Monthly. About the rabbit figurine: I had the idea that Yashiki, being very talented in crafting, once carved that rabbit for Saya, maybe even when they were still kids. It could have been one of his first masterpieces! It had been a precious item for Saya, a symbol of her brother's love for her, so she held it dear and unconsciously it became infused with her spiritual energy. Even after her death her spirit kept watching over Yashiki. To help him when he fell victim to the Departed's curse, her spirit reached out to Yasuoka, guiding her to the Kujou Mansion to get that figurine. Yasuoka didn't exactly know what it would do, but she knew it would be important, so she put it inside that O-Mamori and gave it to Yashiki at her visit. I like to think that, after the Departed's case, Yashiki keeps holding onto it, always carrying it in his pocket, both as a memento to his sister and a lucky charm.
The idea with the OOPArts article about Yashiki was actually a spontaneous idea. I found the thought so amusing that I just had to include it! xD Hope it makes someone else smile too! Also, a blushing and embarassed Yashiki is so adorable! In the end Mashita appears and saves Yashiki from Moe's mischief. He came because Yashiki specifically asked him to. Since he woke up from that coma there's been something Yashiki needs to talk about with him. What it is about will be covered in the bonus part - the next and also last part of this comic (it's gonna be extra long!). I chose to make a seperate bonus part because it's Yashita shipping content (nothing drastic though!). But still, in case anyone does not want to be confronted with this shipping they can just skip that last part without missing any story relevant content. But from what I've seen in the few months I've been in this fandom, I got the impression this won't be much of an issue. xD
Lastly, I am happy to announce that the bonus part is actually a collaboration with a friend! I want to give a shout out for her amazing and beautifully written Yashita fanfictions! You can find her works on AO3, her username is MoonflowerSong. Go check them out if you like, they are so sweet! <3
Link: MoonflowerSong on AO3
I wish you all a nice week! Thanks for taking a look! :)
#death mark#spirit hunter#shiin#死印#kazuo yashiki#ai kashiwagi#tsukasa yoshida#moe watanabe#saya kujou#satoru mashita#death mark art#death mark comic#only human
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as someone who’s autistic i also really get the feeling that luigi is on the spectrum and i have nobody to talk about it with because i feel weird like armchair diagnosing him😭
his mannerisms really give it away for me. he’s overly expressive and literally cannot talk without using his hands—and also he comes off to other people as maybe “suspicious” which i really relate to and honestly makes me sad because he’s just chilling!! he might seem like he’s up to something to some but he just seems to me like he’s naturally very antsy and maybe uncomfortable in his own body so he fidgets a lot. i’ve done that little half stretch with the arms raised too many times to count. that’s not even mentioning his little default stance with the hands clasped in front of him or that stupid face he does in pictures sometimes where he scrunches up and looks like he’s gonna bite a bitch
and before he went missing he mentioned to some people feeling “different” from everybody else, like he was on a different wavelength, and that SCREAMS undiagnosed autistic to me. the “npc behavior” he described being so concerned with feels like an extension of this—i think maybe he felt like someone whose feelings are so so big in a world that seems to not feel much at all anymore. that feeling of not belonging and being out of place is the most autistic thing anyone can experience and i feel for him so much. if he does happen to be on the spectrum i wish he could’ve found some kind of community of other neurodivergent people that get him and share similar struggles because maybe then he wouldn’t have felt so alone. idk this turned into a RANT sorry i’m very passionate about autism can you tell
NONNIE YOU'RE SO FUCKING REAL OMG Thank you so much for this ask, you expressed so clearly how I feel about it too!!
As a fellow autistic, at least in my personal experience, I can easily tell when someone clocks that I'm autistic, despite the fact I'm extroverted and a pretty confident person. I think Luigi falls under that too.
No matter how hard you can try to not seem that way, there will be neurotypicals that see it. They'll usually play it up as "weird" or "suspicious" like you said, I've had it a handful of times. It's just how we are, lol.
I think it's unfortunate that he found community in a bunch of incels online, but I can understand why he would be drawn to that despite how smart he is and how his brain ticks. We don't know him personally so there's no telling what his political thoughts are entirely. Man is an enigma in that sense – which also makes sense for being neurodivergent.
With such wealth and an overbearing family, it's easy to understand why he would just want to get away. Find peace outside of everything he'd ever known. I feel the same sometimes.
It also makes sense for his distaste for technology, or at least somewhat of it. We get overstimulated easily and the world was already going haywire and towards something unhopeful, flooding socials and the media in general, before all of this, so I can at least comprehend why he would want to disappear.
Luigi's Reddit posts I feel go more into him as a person outside of silly twitter posts, the way he would randomly info dump about things is a big tism flag for me.
(example, the sunglasses post, lmao. "Fun fact" babes, no one asked x)

I mentioned before how it can feel weird to talk about, but I genuinely do think it's okay to feel that connection, regardless of who it is.
(Btw pls feel free to DM me whenever!! I'd love to hear more on everyone's thoughts on this.)
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The Mistakes That Have Been Made
Part Four <3 This is where shit will get GNARLY, lovelies, so mind the gap (between Reader and their three awful boyfriends [not counting Gary, obv])
Warnings!: Angst, angst, and more angst. Reader will be MAD sad for most of this. Poorly-practiced, unhealthy polyamory. Reader will experience a LOT of gender and body dysphoria over the course of this (though I will do my best to keep it gender-neutral throughout, bear with me), but there WILL be comfort over that.
You're comfortable there, in that bathroom.
Gary, even after he's wiped you down, treats you gentle. Sits you up in your own little corner and has you sip on some water as he showers in one of the stalls.
It felt nice, just letting yourself cool back off, but not really being on your own.
Gary was very kind with you.
Should bring him food, some part of your lizard brain supplies, he looked like he was struggling a little his last set.
With the new mission in mind (and a spare* hoodie that Gary keeps in his gym bag), you knock on the shower wall to alert him that you're leaving, and shove your phone from your own bag into your pocket without even taking a glance at it.
The calmer, almost content feeling abandons you as soon as you open the door and spot Gaz walking into the gym room.
Of course, his hazel eyes catch onto you, and of course (because you really can't catch a fucking break), he trots over.
He doesn't greet you as he typically does, not with a sweet endearment and a firm hug. Instead, you're met with an appraising, almost judgy glance–knowing Gaz, he probably is judging you–and a cocked brow.
"Didn't pick up your phone before you showered?"
The question rings out to you, but you know he's not all that in your answer. It's not a warning, but a reminder that Gaz has never been the most patient. He's never liked to wait.
"Haven't checked it in a couple days, actually."
You impart in kind, crossing your arms over your chest for your own sake. You really don't want to have any face-downs today. You'd been feeling so good before.
He looks you up and down once more. It feels like his eyes peel your skin back, taking in the appearance of the ugly, squishy bits inside you before he clicks his tongue and steps back a bit.
"Right then. Just so you know, Johnny's right miffed with you. Told me you were being a prick last night. You know why?"
You hate this. You hate this so much. You would have never signed up for this if you knew It would be so draining.
Soap who couldn't keep it in his pants long enough to treat you like a partner, Gaz who seemed to want to cut your head off every time tension arose, and Ghost. The romantic equivalent of an absent father you only see on Christmas or birthdays.
Maybe you're letting the anxiety of the last few days talk. Maybe it's rash (no, it's definitely rash), but you can't handle a second more of this.
"Yeah, I was, sorry." You pause, before just coming out with the rest of it: "I'm thinking about cutting off this... thing. Thought you should know."
Ooh. Spoken with tact. Good job. Your own thoughts mock, but the very worst part of this is that Gaz seems to finally snap out of whatever haze he was caught in. His face twists, and your stomach twists with it as you watch his brows pinch and hear his voice quiet.
"...What? Love, you can't-"
You've pushed him to the back foot now, and it feels horrendous. So, you try to harness the grossness you always feel when he touches you, the aching emptiness of your room when you hear Soap on top of Gaz.
Or the knowledge that Soap and Ghost stay with him longer than they ever have you.
You were too green, too new to the team and too stupid to remember that of course the others wouldn't offer too much. But something between waking up from emergency surgery alone and making friends with the guy who dragged you away from death's door made you open your eyes to it.
"It's fine. Not your fault, just my mistake."
"Mistake, what do you even mean mistake? We were supposed to be partners. You're supposed to be my partner, luv, can you not see that-"
"You're not missing out on much, don't worry. I can't fuck anybody for at least another week anyway."
"What the bloody fuck are you talking about?"
The door to the bathroom opens behind you at maybe the worst moment in history, revealing Gary, still a little damp-haired from the shower. His boots squeak against the floor as he pauses in his step, watching the conversation confusedly.
Gaz's eyes widen, and before you can stop him, he's giving you the nastiest glare you've got in your life, spitting words like venom.
"Oh, so that's why you've been so distant, huh?"
Words choke and tangle in your throat as you look forward at him, watch the resentment in his eyes undoubtedly grow into a bruning hatred.
"It's not-" You try to start, but you never get to finish.
"No no, I get it. Must be real hard hiding how much of a slag you are from the team, yeah?"
You're not sure if you want to punch him or cry out of anger. You end up doing neither, clenching your hands into fists to avoid dishing out pain.
Gary looks confused, and you lack the control to hold any amount of civility anymore. He didn't need to be involved with this.
You didn't want Gary to think you were some sort of slut. Not him.
"I had an appendectomy, you stupid prick! Days ago, if you really wanna know"
You've never been one to raise your voice. It feels rude, but when Gaz quiets, there's nothing to be done but go in for the kill.
"You didn't pick up. I could have died in a bathroom stall because you were so busy that you couldn't check your phone and help me."
Gary puts his hand on your shoulder as you step forward, silently talking you back from wailing on Gaz in the middle of the gym.
When you look back, he signs to you.
There's time for that later.
You grit your teeth, but nod, offering a simple affirmative sign in return before turning back to Gaz with venom on your tongue.
"Fuck you. If I see your face before the end of my break, I'll make sure no one ever calls you pretty again, hear me?"
He could beat the shit out of you. But he doesn't. Gaz looks... upset. You can't muster sympathy right now.
"Break?"
Gaz questions, quiet-voiced and not quite looking you in the eyes.
"Yeah, the brass gives you breaks after fuckin' surgery, numb-nuts. Might as well take it if I've got it, right?"
You're verbally shoving his face into the curb, grinding your boots down on his throat. It feels better than you thought it would, finally just letting it all out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Gary packed an extra hoodie because you seemed to like them. He's a little sad you didn't get to enjoy it too much. He has a feeling he might have more work to do for you to feel that comfortable again. (P.s. really just need to get it out of my drafts at this point, looking at it makes me sick now. So, enjoy what you can. Take it, my children.)
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((Also want to say-- I know I talked to like.. NO ONE yesterday.. not even Kitten. I just slept all day to cope.. but honestly, the ONLY reason I fought my demons so hard to stay alive and not give into the urge to off myself, is my friends. I love you guys, even if we don't talk much.. I still cherish our friendships... If it weren't for my friends, I would have given in right after I got home from being laid off...
But... I fought really hard... cuz I know the pain it causes when losing someone when they end their lives early.. I didn't want to put any of my friends through that.. so I battled it and tried my best to survive...
#Ti speaks#please know that I love you guys#I struggle really hard to express it#but I do#I appreciate all of you#I'm sorry it's a struggle for me to talk a lot#I'm just not a chatter and with the post office job I was even less of one#due to working so much#but this job? I'll have time to chat on my days off <3
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Saskia just felt awful, she just wanted the ground to swallow her up whole and never be seen or heard from again. She knew Theo must be struggling and she had to be strong for them, but it was hard when she felt like she wasn't welcome.
As soon as he held her hand, she gripped it as hard as she could, almost as if she was terrified they'd disappear if she let go. "I'm sorry, I know you've been through a lot and you're hurting just as much as I am. I'm just so scared you don't want me anymore."
It wasn't easy to admit how she felt towards him, knowing it would hurt them in the process but she didn't know who else to talk to or who else she could go to. "I love you, more than life itself. I'd do anything for you, and all I want is for you to love me back."
Seeing Saskia breakdown made Theo's heart break. He wasn't expecting to get so upset, but having the other back in his life was overwhelming to say the least.
"God, you have been through so much," they replied as they watched Saskia wipe her tears away with her hand. Theo didn't know what to say or how to help comfort her. In the past he wouldn't have even hesitated, but now he wasn't sure what to do.
As Saskia mentioned leaving, Theo frowned. They knew they were being cold and shut off, but they hated knowing that their behaviour was making the other feel like they didn't want her here.
"Sas... I am so sorry if I gave you that impression, I don't want you to go, I don't ever want to let you go again," Theo confessed as he grabbed a hold of Saskia's hand.
#[ replies ]#theonlytwoalive#[ zombies? zombies verse ]#[ welcome to the life of electra heart; queued ]
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There are always 2 sides.
The discourse around Louis and Lestat being a victim and abuser and nothing more drives me insane.
Something i don't think enough people remember is that the very same reason the fight began in 1×05 (lestat grabbing claudia by the throat when she tries to "take louis away") we see Louis himself do to her in 1×07 when she tries to get Louis to burn Lestat.
They BOTH would harm her rather than live in a world without the other. They are both guilty of abusing her and each other.
There is an implication that a good deal of time passed between Louis and Lestat meeting and the church. Louis expresses that he shares himself with Lestat in a way he only had with Paul. I would assume that goes both ways, to a degree. We know Louis knows at least enough about Nicki to discourage Claudia poking that wound. He also clearly knows that the threat of leaving is his most powerful weapon against Lestat.
Mental abuse is abuse. And Louis abused Lestat mentally for years. Shaming him, ridiculing him, shutting him out, manipulating him into making Claudia (a traumatic moment for him, whether Louis understands the depths of it or not) by promising to give him what he's being denying him, promising to never put him through what he fears the most.
Louis admits to purposely making Lestat suffer. He admits he was warned that Claudia would suffer and he wanted her anyway because he needed to feel redeemed. He is not innocent. He is not a trapped, weak victim. He made choices to hurt both Lestat and Claudia time and time again.
Does this justify Lestat's actions in 1×05? Obviously not. But we now know Louis was not willing to stop the fight. He taunted Lestat the same way he taunted the Alderman. He was unleashing years of frustrations just as Lestat was. His priority was not to protect Claudia, it was to hurt Lestat, consequences be damned.
I hate the drop scene as much as the next person and Lestat has admitted he will never earn forgiveness for what he did. But if you view Louis as some squeaky clean victim who was manipulated, trapped, and abused by Lestat you are missing so much of what this show is conveying.
We will always tend to paint ourselves as the hero of our own story. It is hard to accept your faults or that you hurt people you love. It is much easier to shift that blame on to someone else, to frame them as the villian. But life is not usually that black and white. Claudia had harsh words for them both in her diary, even before they got to Europe, for a reason. They both made hurtful mistakes with her, both treated her like a pawn in their relationship instead of a person, both harmed her, took away her choice, never prioritized her.
That is the great tragedy. That she never had a choice and was not allowed to be her own person. And in the end, they both are responsible for her misery and her death. That's what makes the reunion scene so important. They have been grieving her and carrying that guilt alone, all the while longing for the comfort of the other for 70+ years. Louis has found clarity in his memories, he has accepted his role in their suffering, he has seen Lestat's perspective more fully. Lestat is broken, totally consumed with that guilt and grief. Both know that although they cannot change what they've done, they can forgive the other, even if they can't forgive themselves. They can love each other despite everything they've done to one another because they cannot stop loving each other. But now they can try to rebuild that love from the rubble.
#If you don't think that lestat would have killed anyone who grabbed Claudia the way Louis did (other than louis) you don't know lestat#tw abuse#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#iwtv text post#iwtv thoughts#I'm sorry idc if people have problems with this take I have problems with MISSING THE POINT#If they wanted you to view Lestat as an irredeemable monster the show would suck#Yes I think 1×05 was a mistake and I get why people struggle with it but we have learned a lot since#We know Louis is an unreliable narrator and we have only seen the real lestat in 1 scene#We have never truly heard his side of any of this ffs#If Louis loves him I can love him ok?#They are messy but they like that!!! Look at how they fell in love!!#Mess all around#Don't even get me started on viewing Armand as The Villian#claudia deserved better#They all do tbh#Rant over sorry#interview with the vampire#i could talk about this forever#Maybe season 3 will finally have some healthy relationship but probably not lol
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I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.
#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like#being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues#if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices#“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already#like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios#and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent#by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else#like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows#and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way#im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY#AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS#anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist#you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us#now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much#dunmeshi hell thoughts#weird rant i suppose#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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Proof that bsd would be a lot better if they just let it pass the Bechdel test more often
#It barely counts too since the conversation between Kyouka and Kouyou verges a lot on men but eh that's the best we can offer#Idk I just really like Kyouka's arc and think that in this episode too it was well developed.#Her relationship with Kouyou really is one of the most interesting of the whole franchise.#About that I LOVE LOVE LOVE KOUYOU WHY AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME I want her back as soon as possible 😭😭😭#And her va is k/l/k's Ryuuko va aka my favourite va ever from my favourite anime ever. God I love k/l/k an inconceivable amount#Which is funny because k/l/k also does have a villain mother figure#The Kyouka / Kouyou dynamics are a lot like. The very watered down version of the Emma / Isabella dynamics.#(I'm once again saying read t/p/n)#I just think. Kyouka's interior struggle is really interesting and we don't talk about it enough!!!#Also FINALLY SEASON 2 ATSUSHI HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!#I really don't know what's up with anime Atsushi every time he's on screen I'm hit by cuteness aggression. It's an illness.#Next. Can we agree Reason Living is the best b/sd op of them all both music wise and visuals wise#MAYBE on par with True Story for visuals but that's it.#Again I really can't vibe with Granrodeao but that's intrinsically a matter of personal taste //////#MARGARET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MARGARET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#Also Akutagawa voice cameo eheh <33#There'll probably be a lot of screaming over characters this time lol sorry in advance. Unfollow me now etc. etc.#random rambles
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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want a drink ? .-.
yes TT

#I know I haven't been responding much to messages#or posting anything#I'm just going through a bit of a hard time rn#I tried to distract myself from the trauma of the robbery#and bottle up my feelings#but my feelings have caught up to me#I might be going through a minor depression rn idk#I'm struggling to focus on anything or do anything other than playing Rain World#you actually sent that at the perfect time#everything came to a head today and I had a massive ✨autistic meltdown✨#bc I got really triggered#honestly my eyes still feel really dry#thank you#this actually helped a lot#sorry I'm talking too much
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art versus artist, 2023
#im not. really in a headspace to talk much right now#but i wanted to make this#2023 has been... odd.#i started college. i got a new job#and i've been stressed#but i also met so many wonderful people. all of you have been so kind to me...#you've kept me going. you've kept me creating#... and i struggle to feel like i deserve it a lot of the time. but I'm working on that. and I appreciate all of you#i love you. thank you for a wonderful year#and I hope 2024 is kind to us all#chdoodles#art vs artist#sorry to be sappy ehehe. I'm in a sappy mood right now
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i often write about weird romances or at least romantic adjacent relationships but i truly never know how to end them. a murder suicide doesn't always work. but they can't leave each other and they can't stay together.
#there's one story#with by far the healthiest relationship of the bunch#and idk. they wouldn't escape together#they really wouldn't#they'd want to#but i can't see them growing as people that much#i really struggle with endings#i mostly write vignettes#they capture a moment and they're done they don't have to be narratively satisfying#and i love that#the ending rarely finds itself easily in my longer works#i just want to write unsatisfying endings tbh#but making the unsatisfactory aspect essential#my vignettes leave a lot unsaid. and the reader wonders whether it'll ever be said#i like the restriction of it#you won't see the whole thing. you don't know these characters well#but they're part of this narrative no one ever gets to see. i like the openness of it#and obviously you can have open endings in longer works#but it doesn't feel as. deliberate to leave a lot unsaid#because at that point you've explored these characters#honestly i'm a short story and vignette writer entirely. sorry to my english teacher who wanted me to write a novel#persimmon's rambles#just felt like talking a bit about writing :)
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wanted to share an almost full-body pic for the first time in probably almost a decade because for once I'm actually proud of how I'm progressing and think that the changes I'm making will end up being permanent bc I'm genuinely enjoying them. Plus, the few selfies I have shared over the last five years have been very photoshopped and at flattering angles, so I feel like most of y'all don't know what I actually look like. So this is me in my children's theater teacher fit last monday!
I'm 17 lbs down from my highest ever weight, but my trainer thinks I'm probably up at least ten to fifteen lbs in muscle. I'm cooking my own food, eating more reasonable portions, and going to the gym at least five times a week because I want to, not because I feel shame or guilt. And now that I'm working as hard as I am, I'm a lot less triggered by looking at new pictures of myself because I know I'm doing my best. I'm still obese, and probably will be for awhile more, but I'm starting to appreciate what I look like and feel like. And hopefully it'll just get better from here!
#weight loss cw#sorry if this sounds super corny lmao#I probably sound so neurotypical rn but I swear I'm being totally honest#I'm obviously not turning this into a weight loss blog or anything but expect a lot more documentation of my journey going forward!#and if you don't like seeing this stuff I recommend blocking my 'personal' tag because I'm going to be talking about this a lot#I've struggled with my weight since premature puberty hit me like a truck in 4th grade so this is a big deal for me#I just wish my pediatrician hadn't treated me like shit for it because maybe if she'd approached me with compassion#I wouldn't have spun off the rails as much as I did#but either way I'm a grown ass adult and I did this to myself#so I'm the only one who can get me out of it#if you're also fat or fatter than I am please dont take it personally#but for me fatness is a physical manifestation of my long term neglect for my health and struggle w mental illness#and I want to get better#personal
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